Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I Live For The Applause

Let compliments go to your heart not your head.(Lysa Terkeurst)

I'm calling out my Love Idols as Jennifer Lee calls them. The ones that say I'm not good enough and that I have to keep striving to find my worth.

Remind me who I am

My need to be known (or seen), recognized, loved, appreciated has elevated itself to idol status.

I measure my worth in comments, like, shares. And then I realize how empty it all is. It doesn't fill and satisfy the way I thought. I want my words to hold value and be well received.

lest I forget

My good enough depends on it.

The comments flatter and I don't really need you to say, "Alecia, of course you matter,"as nice at that is and I love hearing it I really need to BELIEVE it in my own heart.

Because when the words stop and I have to pull away from this space, a little bit of my heart panics a little.

God knows the voices are a plenty in this world and there is no void. But I'd be lying if the thought, "Will they forget about me?" didn't cross my mind.

I belong to You!

In those moments when I doubt my worth and if I have anything of real value to offer.

My God whispers to my heart, "You  will never be forgotten. You are valued, loved, seen, appreciated, and recognized, but not for the reasons you think. But because, YOU.ARE.MINE.

My approval and my love is ENOUGH. Believe this, child."

That's why I pull away at times. When everything is going great. I pull back. I have to ask myself for whom am I living for? For whose approval?

I know my pride well enough to know I can get caught up in the praise.

Make me empty

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting it. But when my hearts starts writing and craving it more than God, that's when I stop. And do a heart check.

Till you are my one desire

Feeling the 'have-to's come on I know it's time for a break. I 'have to' write this post, or I 'have to' send out this FB or Twitter update, or  I 'have to' do this or do that because if I don't .......

I don't want this space to ever be about filling a hole in my heart, but a pouring out from the overflow.

Fill me with you, Lord

Isn't it like that with all dreams? We have to make sure we aren't living for the approval of others to fill a need to be seen or appreciated but because we already know these things, we live out our dreams to grow even closer to God and live out our calling.

Am I writing the words you want me to write?

Human nature wants the approval and the affirming nods, He knows this. He just doesn't want us to want it more than Him.

Ultimately it's about the connection-with God and others more than the applause.

Let them see You in me..in all I do, all I say, and all I write, Let them feel You. 

It's about living out whatever dream God has laid out on your heart because you can't not do it any longer.

It's about wanting to not 'having to.'

It's about living out the dream with God and not making it about you.

Take it all. Take everything. Who am I without You?
The only thing we were made to be consumed by and filled up with is Jesus. Everything else with which we try to fill our emptiness leaves pangs of dissatisfaction and regret. It feels good in the moment but not in the long run. (Lysa Terkeurst)

*Hey friends, thanks for hanging out with me, it's been a while since I've posted. Sometimes I need to be quiet when my world gets loud. And it's been really loud lately. I'm so glad you are here, you are the reason I keep coming back. Love you!

I'm linking up with:


 and of course,

Thought-Provoking Thursday, and Imperfect Prose :)

(The italics are lines from songs I had running in my head as I wrote this post.
 Maybe you recognized them? :) 
Jason Gray-Remind Who I Am, Sidewalk Prophets-Keep Making Me, and Colton Dixon-Let Them See You.)

Monday, April 7, 2014

Are You Burying Your Talents?

I  have many dreams. They vary anywhere from being a writer/speaker to owning my own children’s clothing consignment store. They are all over the map and I love talking about each of them. You’ll find me saying a lot, “One day I would love to.....” or “Wouldn't it be great if some day.....”
Talking about my dreams is great, but doing something about them is a different story.
The way to get started is to stop talking and start doing. (Walt Disney)
Ask me what I’m going to actually do to realize those dreams and all you will get from me is a blank stare.
Taking Action is risky.
There is usually too much involved and not enough time or money. I like safety and comfort, not risk and the unknown. So when God lays something on my heart that is out of my comfort zone, I stall. I make excuses and sometimes I outright ignore His nudges.
I recently heard a sermon on using our gifts and taking risks. The pastor said, “Discipleship doesn’t mean a safe harbor….venture out to what’s unknown and God will meet you there.” (<==Tweet that)

Will you join me over God-sized dreams to read the rest?

Blossom Bunkhouse


Thursday, March 20, 2014

Why Your Weirdness Is Wonderful!

I've read quite a few books lately, but when I saw the opportunity to review this one, I jumped on it!

Look at the book cover (next pic)! And just the title alone was enough for me to want to read it.

"Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful"did not disappoint.

There were several A-HA moments!

One was in chapter 4, "To Live Weird With (Not For) God." In this chapter Laurie is going through a particularly difficult season with her daughter and has to make some heart wrenching choices.

One of her "quirks" is to be a perfectionist and a do-er. But in her moment of crying out to God, He whispers, "I want to work with you, not instead of you, in prayer." Instead of please heal my child her prayer became, "In the name of Jesus, I speak healing, courage, power, and wholeness over you, right now and into eternity."

"In that instant I started to see what it is to live my strengths-and my quirks- with God, not for him. God used my perfectionist motives to open the door for him to work with me and for my daugher in prayer."

Laurie challenges us to look hard at those things we wish we could change and to look at them in a new light.

One of my "quirks" is that I HATE small talk and will do anything to avoid it. Sometimes that means over-sharing when meeting someone for the first time (which usually means I end up beating myself up later that night for saying too much too soon) or NOT saying anything at all to keep from saying too much.

Another one is I think way too much! This can hurt me in that it means I can be very indecisive. I take into account all the options and possible outcomes. I know in some decisions someone is going to be hurt or left out and I HATE that!

Oh, and don't let me forget about my pension for laughing or smiling when things are super serious. I can't help it. When I get nervous, scared, or REALLY angry...I smile.

I know, weird.

Let me ask you.

Have YOU ever laughed during a funeral? Well I have, and it's embarrassing. I have this crazy need to want to lighten up dark situations. I have to make too-serious people smile (just ask my husband-drives him crazy!) :)

After reading this book I asked myself, "Self, how can these quirks be used for good in, partnership with God?"

What if I take Laurie's advice and turn those weird quirks around and look at them from a different perspective?

My, I hate small talk because I over share, could be seen as, I enjoy intimate-deep conversations with people. I want to know people's stories and for them to know I care and want to hear. Not so bad now!

The, I think too much, could be flipped around to be seen as, I have a deep sense of empathy. I care deeply for others. I know what it feels like to be left out and hurt because of it. This doesn't release me of my responsibility to make decisions, but it makes me sympathetic and more careful with them.

And my favorite, I smile and/or laugh at the most awkward moments could be seen as...........

I have nothing on this one...it's just weird. :/
 "My quirks, preferences, strengths and challenges, it became clear, had all been one huge becoming. Each revealed parts of God’s design in me―for me―and it all mattered. Just as every part matters in yours..."(Laurie Wallin)
What I've learned from this book is that it's OK to be quirky, and weirdly wonderful.

I don't ever have to wonder again why my personality is a certain way and wish for it to be different. 

Because that is what makes me uniquely me. 

And that is a good thing!

But the book by 3/22 and get free stuff!!

What quirk do you have that you have always wished were different? Have you ever asked God to make you different, because you feel so different from everyone else?

Do you think you can fully embrace whom God has made you to be-Wonderful weird quirks and all?

Some questions you can ask yourself:
1. What words might appropriately describe your life over time?
2. What experiences have you had, and what have you gained from them?
3. What ideas and experiences inspire you?

About the author of the book:

Laurie Wallin's photo.

Laurie Wallen 
Laurie Wallin is a Christian speaker and certified Life Coach who loves helping people find joy and confidence by letting go of energy drainers and using their God-inspired strengths. Laurie, her husband and their four daughters make their home in San Diego.http://lauriewallin.com, Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/livingpowerlifecoaching, and Twitter:http://www.twitter.com/mylivingpower
Wanna buy the book? You can do so here ===>Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful

Linking with: Thought-Provoking Thursday


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