Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Lessons for My Son

I see you growing into your man-skin. Growing tall, hair, muscles, attitude. Not quite a man and not still a child.

I want so much for you and who you will become. If I could tell you anything I've learned in my days of dealing with men, it would be this...

1. Respect. Always. Especially when you don't feel like it. Show it to me, your dad, family, boss, teachers, friends, coworkers. Spread it around like confetti. Show respect in all you do and it will come back to you. Show it with what you say, how you say it, your body language (sometimes our face will say what our mouths don't) You will always want respect, learn to give it too.

2. Love. You are loved. You are loved well by your family, but most importantly your Father God. I know you're still figuring out what you believe. And you don't know yet the full love of your heavenly Father. But you will one day. And one day you will love Him. So much so you won't believe it. When you know that you know that you are loved,  you will then love others well. I pray you to know this early in life (it would've saved me a lot of pain).

3. Communicate. Don't ever assume others know what you want or what you are thinking or why you're mad, hurt, happy, etc. In today's world of technology, it's easy to miscommunicate. And it's even easier to be passive-aggressive and not communicate at all. Learn to voice your truth and say your words, even if you're afraid, especially if you're afraid. Learn to speak or write clearly and you will save yourself a lot of problems. (Ask me how I know)

4. Forgive. Oh, my son, this is a big one, so lean down and listen up. You've already experienced the need to forgive, (mainly from your dad and me, we've messed up a lot) and it's a lesson you won't quit learning until the day you die. Forgive when it's unfair and it's the last thing on earth you want to do. One thing I know, forgiveness is about you, not them. The way forward is paved with forgiveness. You will relearn this and relearn this...

5. Work Hard. Don't be lazy and complacent in life. Go after what you want. Chase your dreams. Chase God. Chase life. Don't chase money. I pray your work is a blessing and provides all your needs, but I also pray it doesn't consume you. Put money and work in their proper order and it will be well with your soul.

6. Lead. Many men today struggle in this area. They want to lead but are unsure how. My son, you must learn to lead well. In your home first and with your personal relationships. Learn from God-ask Him how to be a good leader, and then use what you've learned to master the art of leading well. A good leader is worth their weight and a poor one not worth a dime. Study those who have gone before you, follow their lead until you can take the lead.


7. Seek God. First and foremost before anything I tell you. Seek Him, know Him, grow to love Him. You won't regret it. You will get lost in this world if you don't have a solid foundation to stand on. This world will try to shake you and make you fall, and you will do just that if you don't have something (the Holy Spirit) stronger in you that is in this world. Let Him be your Rock.

8. Marry/Date Well. Marrying well begins with dating well. Open the door, call don't text (things get lost in translation when you text- and for the love of Pete! Don't ask her out over text, CALL her) ( Use your God-given wisdom and discernment. If you know in your gut she's not the one, tell her to her face ( I REPEAT DO NOT TEXT THIS), and let her go. It'll be best for both of you down the road. A man of honor and respect is important), pay for her dinner, hold her hand, compliment her, listen when she talks, really listen. Talkback, engage in conversation. Refer back to #3. This is important.

9. Have Good Friends. Oh my goodness, son, your friendships will be some of the most important relationships you will have in your life. Keep good friends. In my opinion the smaller the circle the better. Quality over quantity. You're a lot like me in this regard, so I think you'll agree with me on this one. IF you have good friends they will encourage you to keep pushing and doing better. Bad ones will get you into trouble (the same can be said for girl relationships (which I should've added above) ). When you're doubting yourself, they will lift you up. When you're being a jerk, they will straight up tell you.

Good friends have your back and won't stab you in the back. There's a quote that says, "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." This is so true. Get you some good ones.

10.  Integrity. You will live and die by this. People will know you by your word. Be honest, man. Don't take shortcuts they lead to dead ends. In all your ways and in all you do be a man of your word. Keep your word. Tell the truth, even when it may get you into trouble. Not doing so will lead to more trouble. If people can't believe what you say, you've set yourself up on sinking sand.

Own your mistakes and don't blame others for them, this shows maturity and growth. People want to know they can trust you, don't give them a reason not to. A man's word is gold and means everything.

11. Keep Learning. Never stop learning how to be a better man, a better husband, a better father, leader, employee, etc. The moment you stop learning and growing you die. You are made for more than complacency and status quo. You are made to be different. And different starts with what's going on inside your heart. Be a leader at home first then you can truly be a man in the world (be careful not to get this backward, many do). Who you are in private means more than the person you show the world. 

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That's it. All I can think of for now. I initially only did 10 but then added one more I felt was important, I won't tell you which ;) I'm sure as time goes on I could add more... :)

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What would you add to this list?




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