Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Comparing, Insecurity, & Fear

I wrote a post for Laura Rath.

And as I wrote I felt like God was telling me so much more to say, so I decided to write a second post...and a third.

I bring my perspective from that of a woman.  I think comparing is the one thing that trips us up time and time and time again.

We feel insecure for many reasons.

We feel there are so many different ways we don't measure up. And keep falling short.

Our house isn't clean enough

We don't cook enough, or well enough, or healthy enough

Our clothes aren't designer...or new...

Breast fed vs bottle 

Cloth diapers vs regular

Stay at home vs working mom

We compete when we don't feel good enough. We look at others who seem to have it all together or not and think  "What's WRONG with ME?!" "What's WRONG with THEM?!

Our enough is not enough so we throw fiery word darts at each other to make others feel like they aren't enough either.


Take that, you well put together woman with your perfect husband and kids!

We sit in the mud and muck. Dirty with our own judging and yuck. Why?

Isn't who we are are and what we have good enough? We are enough.

Say it with me,"I am enough!"

When we accept and BELIEVE this truth then it will be so.

Our so-called competition, insecurity, and fear....GONE.

Here's the rub: We love ourselves and then we are free to truly love others (easier said than done, I know).

Love doesn't return void. Ever.

The comparing and competing will always divide. I may not be like my well put-together friends, but I can recognize that and it's OK. I'm not made like them nor them like me. We all struggle in some way, no one is good at everything, we all have weaknesses.

The important thing is to be vulnerable and share those weak spots. Admit where you're weak and others will too.

Love and vulnerability is the only way we can break down the walls of them and us.

Linking with Soli deo Gloria, #TellHisStory, Three Word Wed, Winsome Wed, Imperfect Prose, Thought-Provoking Thursday


  1. "Love doesn't return void. Ever." Oh such good truth here, Alecia. I so agree that comparison is something that trips us up time and time again. Instead of comparing, let's choose to LOVE. I read this today on 1 Cor. 13:4-7 "God's kind of love is directed outward towards others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish." When we are comparing, well...we are thinking about ourselves. Let's choose God's kind of love. Not easy, but something to strive for daily. Love you.

    1. Always a joy to see your smiling face here, Beth!! Unselfish love-Yes, that is what the world needs more of.

  2. For sure, our insecurities speaks lies to us straight from the enemy of our souls. To know who we are in Christ, to use His Word as a weapon against those lies, to be confident in who He's shaped us to be, to be bathed in His love? That's where I want to always be ...

    Good stuff here, Alecia.


  3. love this, friend!! oh so true-all of it!! "love doesn't return void. ever"... wow! that's powerful-love it! :) so grateful for your friendship & sharing this journey with you! have a blessed day!

    1. Grateful for you as well. I hope you are settling into your new home and really making it your own!!

  4. Beautiful, Alecia! I love Laura's comparison series (I guest blogged for it awhile back) and you are so very right... Love doesn't return void-- ever. Wonderful message, sister-- and so glad to "meet" you over at SDG. Blessings.

  5. I can't even begin to tell you how much this blessed me. Tears. Thank you so much!

  6. Oh what truth! Love doesn't return void. Ever. Amen. Thanks for this today, Alecia. Have a great day!

  7. Thanks for stopping by my place, Alicia! I am so honored that God used those words to speak to your heart - I love it when He does that! So many bloggers are writing about the issue of comparison - such a big issue for so many women. It breaks my heart, but I can see healing coming for so many, thanks to your posts and others like you who are talking honestly about these issues. Have a blessed week!

  8. Love it - Love doesn't return void. It certainly doesn't. Many people don't stop and listen to what God is saying long enough to realize this. Your post is wonderful. Comparison is a dangerous trap to fall into. No one wins. Thanks for stopping by my place so I could find you.

  9. so true, showing vulnerability is the hardest thing but when you do the relationship deepens because someone else is thinking, "finally someone I can relate too" It goes both ways, even though it is tough at first to JUST DO IT!

  10. Love doesn't return void....ever. amen. If we could take this truth to heart...applying it first to ourselves. Wise words beauty, wise words! Found you today at Tell His Story!

  11. Sigh, isn't it so hard not to compare? On either extreme--with those "better" and with those not as together. But you're right that love and vulnerability are the ways to bring down the walls of "them" and "us." Thanks, Alecia. Beautiful insight.

  12. I am so thankful that His love does not return void!

  13. Compare not lives
    as being wives.
    To God the one
    is lovely done.



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