Monday, February 3, 2014

The Backstory

Everyone has a story. We may not to tell it because we worry what others will think. But our past is what has made us who we are today.

My past includes ugliness that I'd rather forget and pretend didn't happen.

I like to imagine I was always saved and a -good girl.

If you ask anyone from my youth they would say I was good-and on the outside I was. I was all polished up with walls as the high Berlin Wall.

On the inside were all my insecurities, fears, and doubts. They made me do and say things I'm not proud of.

I was never a rebel in that I snuck out or did drugs. But there were other ways.

I rebelled against what I knew was right and good. For a long time I ignored God and his nudgings because I just wanted to fit in with everyone else.

I knew somewhere deep inside, unconsciously, that following God meant that I was going to have to change-be different.

Being different from the world takes courage, and courage was definitely something I did not possess at 16,17 years old.

So many things happened in the in-between.

From the start of the nudgings to the final lay down of my heart at 23 I had lived life my way and held God at at an arm's length away.

So now here I am at 34, realizing and believing that God has dreams and plans for my life and I'm blown away because for so long I told Him "no."

 But He doesn't care.

 He still wants to use me!

One thing that I know without a doubt, is that we don't have to have it all together, our past can be messy and yucky, our life, now, doesn't have to be perfect or semi-perfect, and we don't have to be good enough to be used by God-we just have to be willing.

God uses the willing.

My backstory isn't want I wish it were. But you know what, I wouldn't change a thing. I am who I am today because of it.

Today, I'm one determined person that wants everyone to know that if God can use fear-stricken, anxiety ridden, insecure me, then He can use you too!

God's love and truth finally set me free.And He wants to do the same for you.

So tell me, what's your backstory? I want to hear.

***Holley Gerth has a new book coming out today!!! It's a book that speaks to those no-good-hard-I want-to-give-up and quit days. "You're Going To Be Okay

God-Sized Dreams
Coffee for Your Heart 150
Holley Gerth

Soli deo Gloria, Winsome Wed, Three Word Wed, #TellHisStory

Photo source: Shelly Prevost 


  1. Love you, and your truthfulness.

    1. Denise!! You're back!! I smiled so big when I saw your name pop up :) Welcome back, friend. I hope you enjoyed your blogging break.

  2. Amen! This is such an important message, Alecia. Way to go in being brave and stepping out to proclaim it. XOXO

  3. Wow lady!! I wasn't going to go there with mine... I purposely deleted my empty post for tomorrow because I thought I couldn't go there... but this confirms I need to... it's part of taking that next step! Thank you so much for being vulnerable... it's your vulnerability & transparency that I love the most & that encourages me not to shrink back in fear... ♥

    1. Oh no!! You have to hit "publish" on the stories that scare you!! It not only blesses and frees you,but does the same for others!! Can't wait to stop in and read :)

  4. Thanks, Mandy. You are one of the bravest people I know! Love you!

  5. Thank you for your willingness to share your backstory with us. It's posts like these that are encouraging me to share more of mine.
    Much love,

  6. I love that perspective...even though our past isn't always what we wish it was, it's what brought us here. I tell myself that often, especially when the ugliness from those years creeps in again. I'm so grateful for you, friend...for your heart, for your life, and for the blessing of dreaming with you! Can't wait to hug your neck SOON! Love you, sweet sister! :)

    1. Grateful for you too....and yes it won't be long before we get to see each other inrl!! So excited, can't wait!

  7. Thank you Beth. You are such an encouragement to me and many others, you are a blessing!

  8. Love this Alecia! "
    My past includes ugliness that I'd rather forget and pretend didn't happen. I like to imagine I was always saved and a -good girl." These words ring so true for me as I've said something similar numerous times, even this very morning!
    btw- love the visuals too as I sit here in my office staring at the mountains of snow just outside!

  9. Alecia,
    Love your photos! And I love your words about God using those who are willing -- inspiring reminders of his love!

  10. I loved how what you said about imagining you were always saved and a good girl! But even more true...we are who we are because of our backstory <3 wouldn't change a thing!

  11. Alecia ... the backstory, the beach, the writing. I'm struck right now at how these are just a few of the things that give our lives depth, great meaning, purpose.

    Thanks for this open window this morning ...

    1. Thank you, Linda. It does doesn't it? Our backstories give us depth and purpose. Thanks for your visit.

  12. Alecia,
    Ooooh, girl! I thought you were writing about me for a second. I can totally relate {I wrote about my younger years last week as well}. I can relate, I knew right from wrong, but it was easier to blame my decisions on my home life {my dad was an alcoholic}. The minute I owned up to my actions and decisions, I too felt free. Growing up is in fact messy. I am just so grateful that our Father never let go of me, even when I left Him over and over again. Thank you for your story. It hit home.

  13. Hi Beatriz, I'll hop over and read your story when I get a second. I'm grateful with you, and never want to go back. We have a GOOD God!

  14. So true...We do all have a back story. But God is not put off by that. He knows who He made us to be...and He knows where we've been. And He'll use our little yes to give Him glory. I think He loves to amaze us this way. Don't you???

  15. I can so relate to this post. I was a "good girl" on the outside too. I remember when my husband, then boy friend, tried witnessing to me I really told him that, "I wasn't a sinner!" That's how good I thought I was.

    I love your pictures!


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