Thursday, February 6, 2014

Grace-Filled Parenting

This has been one I really didn't want to touch. Especially since I'm in the middle of raising two myself. With one about to hit the teen years next week and is trying to seriously undo me.

I have no words of advice on parenting...but willing to take some :)

This post is what I'm striving for in my home, but we're not there, yet.

When stubbornness and pride mix with rebellion it can make for some hard days. And lots of intervening prayer time.

Grace has been a hard thing around my home lately.

We've had a hard few months with my eldest. She's growing up and becoming a young lady. Change is hard and good.

I'm finding myself in need of more grace each day. Grace to give and receive.

These teen years involve a shedding of the old and embracing of a new. It's a weird in-between stage.

We've had to switch and adjust how we think about parenting.

I want my kids to respect us because we deserve being respected.

Not because we're telling them to because we're the parents and they have to.

It's a crazy thin line you have to walk between friend and authority figure.

I read a devotional recently from Proverbs 31 that asked the question, "Do you meet aggression with aggression and call it strength?"

This wasn't a devotional for parenting but in dealing with friends and difficult circumstances.

But when confronting an angry, moody 12 about to be 13 year old you feel aggression and anger.

"Vulnerable strength isn't a verbal assault. You speak the truth in love, but you let it settle rather than hammer it in.
 Vulnerable strength isn’t an emotional outburst, rather it’s working through misunderstanding.
 Vulnerable strength isn’t one-sided, but it’s stepping into another person’s shoes for a moment to expand your understanding of the conflict.
 But this is the hard part. You might still get punched verbally, and you might still be at odds. Vulnerable strength doesn’t guarantee a happy ending.
 When aggression is met with aggression, there are bound to be casualties. Vulnerable strength reduces the potential for casualties and paves a path for resolution. And if not, then as Luke 6:35 says, “you will truly be acting as children of the Most High …” (NLT)." (Proverbs 31)

I can hammer in all day long the rules and why she has to follow them, but it won't do anything to touch the heart of the matter.

We are all born with a rebellious heart.

But Grace. It has that covered.

I want to touch my girl's heart not just conform her to the house rules. I want her to know how unconditionally she is loved, despite her behavior.That no matter how low she goes, love and grace will be there to meet her and pick her up.

These days are hard. I cry out for wisdom and prayer from my prayer warriors.

I'm gearing up for the battle of my child(ren)s heart. And it's not easy, the enemy has gained some ground.

Our kids are in a fierce battle for their souls. The world is tugging at them from every angle and all they really want to know is that they are deeply loved and accepted. My heart breaks for our youth today. They are going through things they shouldn't have to deal with. And the good ones, like my daughter, are being brought down with them.

They aren't mature enough in their faith to stand against the wiles of the enemy, and they are becoming easy prey.

It would be easy to meet aggression with aggression. God knows how angry we've been lately.

My new parenting strategy instead, (besides pulling the rug out from underneath the little buzzard) is grace.

I'm going to try and meet her where she's at and try hard (even though I would really like to forget!) to remember what is was like at 13. Lord, help me.

She's facing new and different struggles that I didn't have to face. Technology has ramped everything up a notch.Can you imagine being young and insecure and having a smartphone to detail it all?!

The enemy may winning a little right now, but he better watch out! I'm armouring up, this battle for my daughter's heart is one he won't win!

Linking up with Thought Provoking Thursday and Imperfect Prose


  1. Praying for your sweet family.

    1. Thank you, Denise! We can always use the prayers :) But I know God has this, and is bigger than our troubles, resting in that.

  2. Wowsers! Tough stuff here, friend! Love this post!! My stepson is only 6 & we're seeing the devil's fight for his soul. I'm with you-life is so different for kids now then it was for us... but it was the same with our parents & us. With God as our guide, with His love & Grace abounding, He will get us through. Praying for you as you purpose to walk in Grace-Filled parenting. Be on guard, because ever time we make a bold stand for God, the devil is in our face. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Praying for your family during this time of trial. Love to you! Here if ya need me! ♥

    1. Amen to that! I think anytime we make a move on God's behalf the devil is going to be there to try and discourage us. When it comes to your kids though, there's no backing down. Thanks for your friendship and encouragement!

  3. ohhhhhhh Alecia, let me just say....remember when we thought it was so trying with our 'babes'? These teen years have surpassed it all. It is such a battle, we teach our kids morals, instill character with Jesus stamped all over it and the world comes and stomps on all of it. On my knees is where it seems that I live with my teens. The thing is for me, is by this age they are fighting so hard for their independence and if we haven't instilled these things earlier (when they were listening to us) then on my knees I go. He showed me the more I put my hand on Our Jesus backs off until we back off a bit so that He may put His hand on. Hard lesson for me, HARD! Still fight it. Ok, didn't mean to get all into it (smile)

    1. What a good thought, backing off to let Jesus do this work....It's so hard when it's our babies though isn't it? I keep reminding myself they're not really mine, they are HIS and He's given me the privilege of raising them.

  4. Love to you, friend...and praying for you and your family, too. Oh, how hard this momma thing is...and my girl is just three. So thankful for His Grace, every single day! (((hugs)))

  5. God bless you, Alecia. And praying for you and your family. I remember those teenage years and they are HARD. How we survived them without God in our life??? I look back though and can see how He really was there. Even as young adults they still challenge us as parents and I'm so grateful for His grace when I screw up, but also for the grace He is showing me to extend to them.
    Loved this... "I want to touch my girl's heart not just conform her to the house rules. I want her to know how unconditionally she is loved, despite her behavior.That no matter how low she goes, love and grace will be there to meet her and pick her up."
    Beautiful, heartfelt post. {Hugs} to you.


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