Thursday, August 15, 2013

When You Need To Know You're More Than Just a Housewife

 I can't remember a time when I was young and thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, that I thought 'I want to be a stay at home mom.' Ever. I'm not so sure I even gave the idea of having kids much thought.

But then I had my first. And was faced with the decision to work and put her in daycare or stay home and not eat. I chose to work.

We were young, fresh out of college, and had no financial sense about us, and being right out of college we were just plain broke, or what we like to refer to as poh, it's worse than broke.

Putting K in daycare was something I knew I had to do.

When the time came that we..or should I say T was making enough that we could get by with me not working. I jumped at the chance.

And can I just say, it was not all fun and games like I pictured. Not. at. all.

It was the downright hardest thing I had ever done. All day with a toddler, a needy, busy into everything at one time toddler, was exhausting.

I could literally feel the life being sucked out of me. I started hopping back online to look for a job, to put this kid back in daycare!

Alas, nothing came about, my husband's dream of owning a boat was dashed and I started to feel like God wanted me to stay put. He had a thing or two he was going to teach me, so I'd better put on my big girl pants and get ready, cause it was going to be a bumpy ride.

Here I am now 12 years later, still alive, I have survived thus far, and there are a few things I want to tell you about staying at home.

Being a stay at home mom has it's ups and downs. There are days you know you never want to do anything else and there are days you wonder what happened to your life?!

You're washing dishes for the upteenth time, wiping down counters that seem to stay sticky and always cluttered. The laundry never seems to cease, and let's not talk about the bathrooms, dusting, or vacuuming...

But it doesn't stop there, you are also:

Referee, that longs to play fair between opposing sides

Chauffeur, between school, church, and the after school activities, you are putting quite a few miles on that car of yours

Nurse, you stay up all night when your lovely has caught the latest stomach bug and is barfing it all over you. Bandaging up skinned knees and kissing boo boo's goodbye.

Counselor, when your child starts school and they tell you that so and so isn't their 'best friend' anymore and ignored them all day. Or you now have a tween on your hand and there is boy drama along with the friend drama. Better pray up, cause you're gonna need some of that wisdom the Bible is talking about!

You, Mamma, are the first one they turn to. They know you are there and can count on you to listen and love them.

It's a thankless job, that the world won't thank you for. On the contrary, it's more likely to say you are wasting your time, your life, your degree.

But what the world doesn't know, for some of us, being at home isn't just a choice it's a calling.

You are stronger than you think. Smarter than you know.

Motherhood brings out a side in you, you never knew existed. You are fierce, Mamma bear.

Motherhood isn't for the weak...or weak stomached.

The skills you are acquiring now you can't get anywhere else. What other job requires you to manage multiple schedules, while making lunch, wiping tears, and cleaning up the kitchen for the millionth time simultaneously? You are an amazing multi-tasker.

Your people skills are through the roof, because after dealing with a moody tween or a screaming toddler all day, you've learned the art of negotiation and thinking outside the box to solve problems.

So, yes, maybe the days do seem to wander into the next or you're wondering if this is your life, like, for real.

When you're babies look at you they know there is no one else that compares. You are the woman!

Staying home is hard. It can be lonely, and your days are filled with talking to little people that don't understand much of what you are saying. It's a demanding job that never sleeps, literally. But you do it anyways because there is no other place you would rather be.

No other place where you will be this fulfilled and empty at the same time.

Being a housewife is choosing to say at this moment in life I am putting other things on hold and am going to put my heart and soul into raising these little's into the best they can be.

You can't be there for every moment, you will royally screw up more than get it right, but "for such a time as this" you are going to give it your all and do the best you are equipped to do. I believe in you, and you can do this!

Some may not understand the choice to stay home. Worse, you will be criticized and accused of being lazy and not a help mate at all, forcing your husband to bear the whole financial burden.

Stay strong in the Lord, he will give you the faith and the strength to keep going when no one, not even your kids appreciate what you sacrifice and do.

I see how hard you work to keep it all together and make things work.

You are a hero to not only me, but to others as well. You are doing a fantastic job!

Keep it up Mama, one day you will be able to look back, and you will know it was worth every minute.

***It's not every woman's choice to be a stay at home mom, and that's ok, we are each called to live and parent differently. This is for those that choose to stay home.

Linking with Imperfect Prose, Thought Provoking Thursday, Faith Filled Fri, and Fellowship Fridays


  1. Nicely written. I've been a stay-at-home mama for a lot of years. And now that my youngest is away at college, I'm not sure what to call myself. I'm just a stay-at-homer. ha. (Well, I am still a mom--it's just the kids are no longer at home with me.)

    But you're right that it's not easy! I have often thought that it would have been much easier to have had a "real" job with only limited tasks to perform instead of the gazillion jobs of a mom PLUS the emotional angst attached to each one.

    Oh, so worth it though! I'd trade nothing for these years. I'm thankful our situation allowed me to stay home; I know not everyone can (or wants to).

    1. Oh friend, I can't imagine the day when mine are off to college. I want time to slow down!! It's not that far from me now. I'm thankful too, that thus far I have been able to stay home I know so many want to but can't. And those that work full time and come home to another full time job are my hero's as well, I don't know how they do it!

  2. Hi Alecia,

    Thanks for saying these words aloud: "I see how hard you work to keep it all together and make things work. Keep it up ... one day you will... look back, and ...know it was worth every minute."

    It's good for moms of all ages to hear these words. You can do it too! :)

    Jennifer Dougan

    1. Hi Jennifer! I hope it was a little encouraging, being a mom is hard but so worth it. And those moments when your kids snuggle up next to you and tell you they love you after a tough day make it even sweeter.

  3. I just love your words....they always inspire, I believe, with words right out of God's heart.

    You ROCK, Momma!

    1. You have the nicest comments Marlece, and they always touch my heart. Thank you so much Marlece. And can I say, You Rock too!!

  4. Awesome. Being a stay at home is honestly not my choice; I have a degree in Elementary Education and it is hard to find a job! I have struggled with the guilt of feeling like I am a burden, feeling like I am wasting my degree and feeling like I wasted money. I rest assured in knowing that every season of my life had and has a purpose.

    1. Every season does have a purpose. I think if we can rest in that, then no matter what comes we will be at peace. I've had the same struggles, I think that is why I felt led to write this, to encourage those that are struggling with this right now. Nice to "meet" you Amy!

  5. I love this. I never thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mama...I wanted to teach. And then...well, we waited a long time for our daughter, and once she was there in my belly, I knew what God was calling me to do. You're right...staying home is not easy. There are hard, ugly moments, ones that I would like to forget about for the rest of my days. And then there are the other moments that make up 99% of the time...and they're still not always easy, but I hold each of those close to my heart. I'm so thankful for this season and the opportunity to be home with Mae, investing in her. Beautiful words, my friend...blessings to you! :)

    1. Thanks Mel! Enjoy your girl, the time goes by so fast!

  6. Love how you've found reward where God has placed you. Culture places so much pressure on women to be everything that it becomes hard to do anything without shame. Thanks for sharing.


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