Tuesday, February 26, 2013

What Sets A Fire Under You?

This week, us dreamers are talking about what or who is was that made us realize we had  more to offer and that we have no excuse for going after our dreams.

I'm not sure if I have any one who or what, but there are people that have inspired to walk the roads I have walked.

Several years back I attended a women's conference with several gals from my church in Birmingham AL. It was the E-Women's Conference led by Julie Clinton, there were several good speakers, including Lysa Terkeurst, Karen Kingsbury, Sheri Rose Shepherd, and many more. It was so good, and I think one of the first women's conferences I had ever been too.  Watching these strong women of God sharing their failures, their successes and opening up to complete strangers about their broken pasts and redeemed lives challenged me in ways that I had never thought of.

I realized in those two days how much we women hide out of fear of being known, really known. We want everyone to think we have it all together that our marriages and children are bordering on perfection and the reality is they're not.

I  remember times when I would be completely shocked when I heard of a couple divorcing in our church that by all appearances seemed to be doing fine. When you would see them out they were all smiles, when you would ask how they were you got the standard "fine" without so much as a flinch.

All because we are so afraid of letting people see our humanness and our mess. We are all messes, some do a better job than others of covering it up, but if we're honest, we all have things we don't want others to know about. We keep it to ourselves in the name of "it's none of their business," or "if I say anything, they'll just use it to gossip and judge and alienate me, because I don't have it all together like them"
{Granted, now, there are some things that should remain private}
"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." 2 Corinthians 11:30
And then we are shocked when a couple from the church announce they are divorcing and come to find out that they have had problems for years. No one knew there was any trouble. No one saw a thing!

All this to say that this conference changed me. It changed me, because I realized that if I wanted to be authentic and allow others the same freedom, I had to start fessing up, I'm not perfect!! {I know, you're shocked! :) }

The bubble we allow ourselves to live in out of fear of being found out, will eventually bust. And everyone is going to be in shock and awe of what comes spilling out.

The hiding needs to stop. And it's not easy, it's a day to day moment to moment choice, am I going to be real, or hide and cover up my shortcomings.

I write, to be honest. I'm not perfect {gasp}, just ask my husband and kids, they will gladly tell you how many times I mess up in one day. And then laugh, because they know they can, because mom will laugh too and for the most part has gotten to a point where she knows she will fail and has to keep picking herself up, learn from her mistakes and keep going.

As is life.

Those women showed me that day that a perfect God can and will use imperfect me, in spite of me. There's nothing I can do that will make him desert me or love me any less.

I'm discovering this freedom and want it for others so badly. I want them to know that God loves them when they mess up and want to give up, .... because he is God!

I know that if I don't start showing my vulnerabilities that I'm missing out on helping and blessing others who may be struggling too. All the hiding and covering up, lead to shame. And that's not how God wants us to live.

So, that's what set me on my course, what was it for you? What set that fire a blazing in you and inspires you to do what you do? Please, share below.

The following is a video of Nick Vujicic, who was born with no arms or legs. But is now a preacher and motivational speaker. He is an awesome example of what God can do through us and in us...if we let Him.

        If you are reading this in email or reader, please click here to watch

Linking with my fellow dreamers at Holley's place and sisters at Soli deo Gloria, Women Living Well, Winsome Wed, #TellHisStory

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  1. I don't know that there is any one thing that set me on my course, but I can look back and see how God has been working on me my entire life. These days, being a parent to young children motivates me to speak up and seek God in everything I do. I fail at that, often, but I do seem them as constant little reminders and motivators.

    1. Isn't it cool to look back and see how God was working and moving, even if at the time you didn't feel or see it? I see my kids as motivators too, they make me want to be better and different. Thanks for sharing Courtney!

  2. You had me shouting, "Yes!" several times while reading this. Thank you for your transparency and honesty. I'm a mess, too...pretty much every day. :) It's humbling to think that God still pursues me and wants to use me in spite of all of that. I love Nick's story, too...he IS inspiring! Blessings, friend...hope you're doing well!

    1. yes!! It is humbling isn't it? Sometimes I wonder what in the world is he going to do with? Cause I'm such a mess! But instead of staying stuck in my mess like I used too, I'm using it for Him.
      My son came home and told me about Nick not too long ago, I hadn't heard of him before and was in puddles by the end of the you tube video. I thought, "you know, if someone like this with no arms, no legs and a million reasons to feel sorry for himself can get out there and praise Jesus and live a full life, then I have NO excuse not to either" Blessings to you too! I am doing well, so thankful for your visit!

  3. I love how you said, "Those women showed me that day that a perfect God can and will use imperfect me, in spite of me. There's nothing I can do that will make him desert me or love me any less." That is so true! Such an incredible post! Thank you for sharing today :)

    1. Thanks Lisa! It's incredible what God is doing through us in this Dream Team, the way everyone encourages each other is humbling. Thanks for your visit sweet friend!

  4. Hi, My name is Amy and I am a mess. LOL!!! I also live in the Birmingham area and I have attended the EWomen's conference for several years and could not agree with you more that these women are such an encouragement. I think what is sad is that if we as women would all be honest then we could also all be encouraging. Thanks for sharing.

    1. LOL, Love it!!! I think we should start a movement!
      We probably were there at the same time! And I couldn't agree more, I think being honest and real with each other would set us all free from the comparison trap of feeling like we are the only ones.
      Thanks for your visit Amy!

  5. Hi Alecia, great post. It is important to be transparent and its so sad that there are so many of us in the church too wary to ask for Godly help. Love seeing your transparency here, it is this that will draw others to Christ
    God bless and thanks for linking up sweet lady

    1. Nice to see you over here Tracy! Thanks again for letting me guest post :) I agree, we don't ask for help until it's too late, only out of fear and shame. I pray more women and families will see what a trap secrecy can be and be more encouraged to open and ask for help if they need it. God Bless, Tracy.

  6. YES! One of my core values if transparency, simply because I believe in the difference it can make in so many lives - both of the one who is bravely opening up and allowing herself to be known, and of those who are fortunate enough to have that example to follow. It really does make a difference in so many ways. Thank you for sharing today!

  7. All messes, yes. I'm messy right with you. Grateful for a God who makes me whole! Thank you for sharing at #TellHisStory.


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