Thursday, October 18, 2012

Go Get `Em


Stepping out of our tidy little circles means doing life with those who haven't done such a good job of hiding their own sin. They are laid bare for the world to see and judge (Samaritan woman at the well).

Will we be willing to eat with those others think offensive? (Jesus ate with prostitutes and tax collectors!}

Mary Magdalene went to visit her friend Jesus's tomb, but He wasn't there; she thought someone had taken him and she wanted him back. She was willing to do whatever it took to get him back.

 John 20:15 "Woman, he said, "Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"  Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

Have you ever had a friend that started down a path, you knew would only lead to pain? I have.

A friendship that under the weight of pressure and sin, collapsed?  I have.

Instead of confronting in love, I ran. I turned my back. I didn't know what to do or say. So I did nothing. Pretty soon the phone calls got less and less and contact ceased.

I agonized over doing the "right" thing, if you were associated with her, you were talked about, people assumed you agreed with her decisions, why else would we stay friends?

My own spiritual maturity wasn't enough to make an impact on her, or so I believed, and I felt like she was having more of an impact on me than I on her.

My own spiritual immaturity just seemed to make things worse.

It's hard to think clear when your in the situation. But maybe loving from a distance was the best thing I could have done for both of us. I never stopped praying and hoping the best for her. She was one of my best friends and I loved her like a sister. But I didn't know what to think or say or do with her!

In Proverbs it says "That a friend loves at all times" I wish I could have been that friend for her. I didn't have to agree with everything, but I could have stayed. Because this happened, I look at friendships differently now.

I know the importance of keeping your own faith strong so that when you have a friend in crisis you can be a sounding board for them. They don't need a sermon, just a listening ear. I too often found myself lending advice, good advice, but it wasn't what was needed.

Sometimes people have to walk the road on their own and come to their own conclusions. Maybe that is how God is choosing to work it out in their lives. He knows they need to go through it to come back to Him.

Losing a friendship is heartbreaking. In future friendships I want to be a Mary Magdalene  If my friend is lost I want to go get em! I want to be that friend that listens with her ears and heart first, without planning on what I am going to say next, or trying to figure out a solution to their problem.

I want to be the friend that doesn't care what others say, but sticks up for my friend when they are going through their fiercest storm.

I want to be the hug and the deliverer of ice cream when the day craps on them.
And when they are lost and can't find their way out of the darkness I want to be the voice of wisdom and an encouraging word when they ask or need it.

I want to speak truth, but not give Christiany candy coated answers.

And when I fall short of grace and mercy I will be quick to ask forgiveness, and ask God to fill in the gaps.

I want to be the type of person that my friends can come to when they are struggling, and be a safe place to confide in.

Mary went after her friend! 

I will be the friend that does the same. I hate that this happened, and if I could go back in time and change it I would, but God, like in everything has used this as an opportunity for me to see what real friendship could and should look like.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Did you handle it better than I did?

I love this song by Casting Crowns, too often we forget, it's not our place to swing the sword in judgement.

"Jesus friend of sinners
The one whose writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away
And the stone fall from their hands
Help us to remember
We are all the least of these
Let the memory of your mercy
Bring the people to their knees"
"Jesus Friend Of Sinners" Casting Crowns

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  1. Love love love this! Especially "I want to be the hug and the deliverer of ice cream when the day craps on them" Can we be friends? :) I'm convinced ice cream fixes almost anything. Great post! (I'm here from Thought Provoking Thursdays!

    1. Lol, absolutely! And your right, ice cream (especially chocolate) fixes anything! So glad you stopped by!

  2. Alecia, something tells me you'd be a great friend! I love, "I want to be the hug and the deliverer of ice cream when the day craps on them." Yep, you can come to my door anytime with chocolate ice-cream and a hug! Great post!
    I'm a new follower and would love for you to swing by for a visit and, if blessed, follow!

    1. Thanks Mary, I wish I could say I'm a great friend, but honestly it doesn't seem that way sometimes. I hold back too much out of fear of getting hurt. But I'm learning. Thanks for stopping by and following, welcome!

  3. It sounds like you are the kind of a friend anyone would be blessed to have! What a beautiful and touching post, and a reminder that without love, nothing matters.
    God bless,

    1. Thanks Laurie, without love everything else is for nothing.

  4. Hi Alecia - beautiful. Such a great truth here, especially the bit about just being around, just listening. I too have kind of disappeared for lack of knowing what to SAY, when all that was needed was that I be there. Great post, God bless

    1. Thanks Tracy, disappearing was the 'easy way out' I guess, not helpful to either of us. Just being there and showing up is what's important, I know this more than ever now.

  5. You are truly a precious blessing.

  6. Good thoughts, Alecia. I do - have - struggled with those very things, especially within my work atmosphere... sometimes they must do the falling... sometimes I know I need to listen better, and in God's sovereignty, we will all know His mercy and unfailing love... and it's good to remember the lyrics {love the song} to this song... that the righteous dropped the stone, and turned away.

    1. thanks for your words here Leslie. That song is a great reminder that we are all sinners and Jesus came when we least deserved it, none better than the others.

  7. Very good! Like, exquisite B & W,

  8. Perfect description of Biblical friendship. May we be like Jesus to our friends, no matter what they are going through. Loved this post!

  9. Yep. I have totally been there on several occasions with people in the past and still kick myself for withdrawing from their need. I didn't feel like I had anything to offer that would help...or that they would listen to any advice I had to say.

    I've learned since then that Jesus was all I needed to offer and a listening ear may have been what they really needed.

    Thank you so much for sharing, Alecia! I'm visiting via Studio JRU and am so glad that I did. :-)
    Anna K.

    1. yep, been there:) Guess we can only learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them..thanks for commenting

  10. A great post and I love that song!
    Visiting from Faith Filled Friday. . .nice to meet you:)

    1. thanks and and ME TOO! One of my favorites, so many truths found in it! It's nice to meet you as well :)

  11. oooh, one of my favorite songs for sure.
    i love what you said about loving people by listening -- even when you don't agree.
    i have that situation with my sister and i wish years ago i would've offered a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental listening ear rather than handing her my well-packaged answers. your perspective, though it comes as a result of pain, is so valuable here.
    thanks for sharing your heart!

    1. Thank you Kelli, it's nice to know I'm not alone.Thank you for sharing.

  12. You have made such wonderful points about friendship. I thank you for the reminder of what kind of friend I hope to be! Oh... I love that song! :)

  13. You inspire me to continue on loving even in the messy times (and there are usually lots of messy times in a long-term friendship). Thanks for sharing your story.

    1. Thank you for reminding me that there will be lots of messy times in a long-term friendship. It's those times that either break or make your friendship stronger.
      Thanks for stopping over!


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