Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Disconnect to Connect

We celebrated my son's 8th birthday over the weekend. I. Can't. Believe. My baby is 8.

Birthdays make me nostalgic. They make we want to stop time and hold still the day so that it won't become a distant memory so soon.

And they make me think, am I doing everything with my kids while they are young that I can? Am I investing enough? Do they know how deeply they are loved?

Or do I rush around trying to get one more things done and treat them as one more thing to do and deal with?

So many times I do-guilty.

As we sat on the couch yesterday talking about our day and Jackson was telling me what he liked the most about his birthday, I sat quietly listening and holding on tight to the little boy that is growing before my eyes into a young man. A man that will one day have his own wife and children. And pride and tears well up at the same time.

Will he look back and think of the times we sat and talked, laughed and enjoyed sitting around shooting the breeze? I hope so. I hope he knows how we took time to listen, to soak in every word and smile and laugh.

I hope times like these will stand out more than the not so cozy and sweet times.

As I sit and listen I think isn't this what it is all about? To not run around like crazy people with never enough time?

Sitting and breathing deep each others presence, squeezing every ounce of time and life out of each other before they both slip away.

We live in a world where busyness is praised and is the standard of living. The busier you are the more full your life?

No time to sit. No time to just be. Will we regret all the times we let time slip by? Thinking there's always tomorrow?

I want to grab hold of the day and the people that mean the most. They are life. They are God given, they are our daily blessings.

I don't need more time. I have just enough. The same as everyone else, everyday.

I don't need finish my to do list, or do one more load of laundry or read one more email.

I do need to be fully there wherever I am, and be in the moment and capture it in my heart.

In our age of technology and staying connected it has made us more disconnected than ever.

Our kids talk and we absentmindedly nod and sigh and give out uhuhs, just so that they think we hear them. But I don't. Am I really to wonder why they don't seem to hear me?

Their small school dramas are their world right now and when I haphazardly dismiss my daughters latest drama, she will soon stop talking about the small and the big.

What is going on in their little world is a big deal to them. We know they will grow up not to even remember so and so's name, but right now, in this moment, so and so is a big deal.

I sometimes feel like my phone is my biggest detriment. It's too easy to get on Fb, Twitter, or email and connect with the world, but what about connecting with my kids?

Am I taking up the same time with them? Making sure I connect and that they know they are more important than the latest breaking news?

One way I've found that I can do this is to put my phone on charge once my kids come in the door and leave it there.

They are home from being away at school all day, I've had my time to connect with the world, now my time is theirs.

It's amazing what you hear when you listen with your full ears and heart. You hear the message behind the drama. What's really going on in their hearts. It's the perfect time to instill Godly truths into them because all day long other things have been battling it out for their hearts and minds.

I wish I could say I do this all the time, but I don't. But I'm challenging myself to do it more often. I'm challenging you too!!

Let's disconnect to connect. Let's let our families know that they are more important than the latest status update and latest tweet, let's fully engage and be fully there, in the moment.

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Linking with:: Women Living Well, Walk With Him Wed, Imperfect Prose, Word Filled Wed, God Bumps and God Incidences, Life In Bloom, Thought Provoking Thursdays, Faith Filled Fridays, Studio JRU


  1. Oh that guilt. Gets us every time. All us mommas have been there. Putting the phone down now.

  2. "It's amazing what you hear when you listen with your full ears and heart." yes and amen! I have yet to get a smartphone, but that doesn't stop me from being distracted...striving to live in the moment and be present to those that matter most. every day. Thank you for your convictions and encouragement to do just that!

    1. I would say, don't get one!! :) once you do you think you can't live without it. I wish I hadn't because it's just too easy to stay connected to the world. Too much of a distraction for me.

  3. It is weird how much we rely today on fancy phones - computers - When my kids were little we had one of the first Mac to come out - seriously! When I think back I'm glad I didn't have all these extra distractions. The TV was bad enough and for awhile we didn't even turn it on. This post gives me a lot to ponder. Have a wonderful day!

    1. lol, we didn't have a computer till I was almost graduated from high school, now I can't imagine life without it! But we did a lot more playing outside and I was as bored as easily as my kids are today.

  4. yes.yes.yes i did that this summer with my family. so good to not be tied to my computer but tied to my children's hearts.

    1. I did too, sort of:) I didn't blog and rarely got on the computer, bc I had my phone. I used it to check emails and the social sights. I found myself looking at way too often though. I think I need it to break:)

  5. The time does indeed zoom by so fast, and it is all too easy to let it fly by unsavored. We can never get it time back though, so to be purposeful about savoring it is so important, whether you're a young mama or a nana like me!
    Thanks for your sweet comment on my post about my daddy. I'll be posting more of the story next Wednesday.

  6. Amen friend -- nothing compares to the time we do have.

    yes to this --> Will we regret all the times we let time slip by? Thinking there's always tomorrow?

  7. Oh, you've voiced my constant tension as a mom- how to stay PRESENT in the present and unwrap the gift of this moment with my children. Lovely writing here. So glad you stopped by my blog so I could find you. Happy birthday to your son! (I get nostalgic on b-days, too!)

    1. Thanks Alicia, those bdays come around too soon. Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future...sorry that song just popped into my head. Thanks for hopping over!

  8. Being present in the moments of our life is so very important. You are right to enjoy the moments of your son's childhood, they grow up very quickly. Blessings to you today... stopping by from Thought Provoking Thursday :)

  9. Amen Amen! It is hard to do but very necessary. When your kids are all grown and have lives of their own you look back and wish you had connected just a little more. There is wisdom in your words!

  10. Hi! I found you through Women Living Well! Oh, how the time flies! We adopted our little girl at birth and she's almost 20 months old already. Time is going by waaay too fast and I find myself hurrying through the days. I don't ever want to regret a moment with her. Thank you for sharing your heart! I'm your newest follower and I look forward to getting to know you better!


  11. Hi Alecia -- What sweet words. And because of your caring; never doubt that you are not giving enough to your family because you are. And thanks for reminding us the importance of family. God answers prayers doesn't He! I know you cherish your family and know you are setting them on the right path and they'll grow to be fruitful because of the seeds you've planted. Blessings Terri

  12. oh alecia thank you so much for this important reminder. for speaking up on this topic. our children are suffering... we need to stop rushing around, and just BE with them. bless you.

  13. if I had one do-over in life, just one,
    that would be mine.
    (and I could use a good many do-overs!)
    I would sit and smile into the eyes
    of my children
    and just be with them
    in peace.
    Trusting for restoration
    in every way
    of every thing lost
    and stolen.
    oh thank you for reminding me
    of the important things.

  14. You are so wise, Alecia, and your children are so blessed to have you as their mom! Our son is 22 now, and I wish I had spent more time with him in his early years. Those moments, once gone, can't be re-lived. I wasn't saved until he was 10, and I regret that I was not a better role model for him before that, but I know that God's timing is always perfect.
    Love to you & your precious family,

  15. Yes, you said it so well - "disconnect to connect", taking time for what is most important, really listening to those we love. Thanks for sharing - and thanks, too, for your visit.

  16. Beautiful writing. Life just gets so busy. It's refreshing to see a momma who takes the time to listen. Some days I struggled to be fully aware but always insisted the children tell me about their day. Now my Melanie has four of her own kids and still wants to tell me about her day. It's so worth the effort to disconnect to connect.


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