Thursday, February 2, 2012

Seeking Community and Connections

I've had past hurts have left me a bit cautious when it comes to forming friendships and have left me thinking that maybe I'm better off with just acquaintance like relationships.  It sometimes feels like no one really wants to connect. Every one's too busy, or has their established friendships and aren't very welcoming to "outsiders."   Especially when you move to a small town and everyone there has known each other since pre-school.

In my heart though I would love to have someone that gets me and I them, a soul sister. I want to stop being cautious and go for it!

Connecting with other women is a kind of connection that you can't get from talking to your husband or a guy. Your guy isn't your girlfriend!  No man understands the way a woman thinks or gets wanting to know the "details" of things. Take the birth of a child, a woman wants to know how much they weighed, how long, how was the delivery-was it easy or hard? The guy just gets that a baby was born and it was a boy or a girl.

We love to talk and express ourselves in a way that men just don't understand. We feel refreshed and rejuvenated after having our "girl time." So, in theory I know connections with other women are important, but....

If God made us to be relational then why is it soo hard?? so scary? I don't want to put myself out there, just to be rejected or have the friendship fall apart down the road. Which it has and has.

This past weekend my pastor had a sermon about ..On Being Alone. There are 2 kinds of loneliness. 1. The kind that only God can fill and 2. The kind of outside loneliness from the lack of interaction with other people, he said " If we are always pushing back from relationships then we are going to miss out on God's presence most often than not." Ooh, I think God must have let it slip I would be there!

God made us to be in relationship with him and others.

So, if that's what God made us for then maybe I should give them another chance and start looking for opportunities to be more relational.  Take the risk and stop playing safe. I could start being intentional and start being the first one to make the first move. If I get rejected try not to take it personal and try again.

Bonnie at Faith Barista is talking today about  "community" and what that looks like to each of us. For me its being able to be "real" with someone and finding authentic relationships with other people. I wanted to link up and give my two cents. 

Bonnie along with the other ladies at (in)courage have had some great stories about giving relationships another shot and not giving up on them, they realize the importance of them and want other women to see and know the importance of them as well. Too often than not women will try to bring each other down instead of lifting each other up.  That's not what God wants of us. We really can live side by side and live life together encouraging and building up each other, if we are intentional, thoughtful and kind with our words.   The (in)courage group has really encouraged me to not give up and that "real" community is possible.

Can I be so bold and ask for you to pray for me? For confidence to make that first step of reaching out online and in real life?
Thanks in advance and if you want drop me a note and I will pray for you as well!


  1. Prayers said!

    It is definitely tough to find those "good" connections anymore. And I have the same thing going on... I am {usually} never the first one to make the first move. I do need to change that.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. It's hard and def need to start making the first move more as well! Thanks for the prayers having recently moved it's a bit tougher to put myself out there again.

  3. Connecting with women is so important and since moving out east 4 years ago, I find that I don't have a lot of women friends. Well, I guess I do, but I socialize with them as couples...I REALLY miss girl time!

    Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment.

    Have a great weekend.

    1. A lot of the new friends I've made so far have been "couples" and while I enjoy it,i miss the"girl time too. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you have a good weekend as well.

  4. I SO love this! And - I get it! It can make you crazy to 'break into' the small town crowd... Very well written - miss you girlie ~ and pray for you often! : )

  5. Thanks Cortni!! I can definitely feel the prayers and I appreciate them more than you know. Miss you too!!


Your Turn...


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
var refTagger = { settings: { bibleVersion: "NASB" } }; (function(d, t) { var g = d.createElement(t), s = d.getElementsByTagName(t)[0]; g.src = "//"; s.parentNode.insertBefore(g, s); }(document, "script"));