Tuesday, February 10, 2015

You Are More





As you know Fifty Shades of Grey comes out this week. I have not read the books and do not plan on seeing the movie. It's my own personal conviction.

I have no plans to judge those that have read or will see, but I do have some thoughts as I have been going back and forth with someone close to me that has the opinion Fifty Shades isn't "that bad"and debating whether or not the trilogy is a love story or a story of misogyny.

After enduring a painful abusive relationship in my teens I know how impressionistic young girls can be. I was one. When you are looking for love in the wrong places you will undoubtedly find it.

The kind of men like Christian Grey are very charming and mysterious. A lot of women like men that they can't figure out. It makes things interesting. But before you realize it, you are swept up in a relationship, have fallen for a guy that knows your weaknesses and how to use them against you.

This is what I'm afraid for when young girls see this movie. And if they have Christ-believing mama's that talk about how much they love the books and are dying to see the movie, I also wonder what kind of message that sends.

This will of course be a subject we may have to agree to disagree on, and I'm ok with that. Really I am.

It's my goal with this post to give you some food for thought. Maybe get you questioning, is Fifty Shades a book I should have on my bookshelf?

There are many opinions. I know. But to me, love should build each other up. It should be respectful and kind. Perfect? NO.
Love doesn't intentionally inflict pain (even with a willing participant) to fulfill their own desire.

The Bible says to "do not conform ourselves, but be transformed."( Romans 12:2)

How does watching Fifty Shades transform the world around you?

If you are a Christian you have been set free of old habits, sin, forms of bondage. Then why would you want to put on an old dirty coat over our gleaming white one that was paid for with blood?

You are called to be light. To live and love differently.

Porn is a $14 billion dollar industry. I'm betting that half of the girls in those videos are under age and have been trafficked and forced to live and do humiliating things on a daily basis.

Strong will prey on the weak.

I have a fourteen year old daughter. It makes me sick to think that the girl on one of these videos could be her. Or worse when she as a boyfriend could be talked into doing any of the sex-acts in Fifty.

With the lie of Fifty Shades permeating our world there will be people that will take this sad piece of fiction and try to recreate it in real life (mainly young people). There will be marriages that see this and convince their spouses into thinking this is okay because they are in the confounds of marriage.

Sin always sounds like a good idea at the time, doesn't it?

Please remember if we don't stand for something, we will for for anything and everything.

I hope you will not fall for Fifty Shades.

"Authentic love does not devalue another human being. Authentic love does not silence, shame or abuse,” Brooke Axtell

Click here to read the amazing survivor story of Brooke Axtell



linking up with: Soli deo Gloria, Three Word Wed, Coffee For Your Heart, #TellHisStory, Thought-Provoking Thursday

28 comments :

  1. Alecia,
    I always enjoy your thoughtful posts! Although I haven't read the books, all the points you bring up are extremely thought-provoking, especially in the light of your own personal experience. I love how you want God's best for your daughter so you are the mom who stands for something! I'm going to pop over more often! :) Love reading your words!

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  2. Hi Friend.:) Popping over from Three Word Wednesday, glad we were neighbors. Great post- well-thought out and loving.:)

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  3. I wholeheartedly agree with you Alecia! Like you, I have not read the books, nor will I see the movie, and I also have a teen daughter. It really bothers me to know how easily young girls and boys (as well as adults!) can be convinced that this is romance. I remember how I viewed things when I was a teen--how I thought I knew it all and could handle anything--and how differently my view is now. It's already leading to interesting discussions because the Truth of God's love that I want to teach and the way this movie is being portrayed as a "love story" are so very, very different. Thank you for sharing your views and personal experience with us!

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  4. Me too. When we are young we think the things we watch and listen to will not affect us. But I still remember scenes from movies that impacted, good and bad. And I think to a degree they do affect your decisions you make when you are a teen. If everyone else is doing, then you should too!

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  5. Hey Girl! Good to see you, I'm glad you popped over :)

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  6. I'm glad you popped over too, Valerie! Our past mistakes are for nothing if we don't learn from them.

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  7. Yep, me too. It's as an adult, and more so as a mom, that I realized how true Proverbs 4:23 is..."Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." What we allow ourselves to get absorbed into really does affect the way we think, act, talk, and view right vs. wrong.

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  8. I couldn't agree more. Visiting from Kristin's today.

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  9. Thank you so much for this post. I did read the first book several years ago when first released only after all the hype I heard from some girlfriends. I was totally disgusted. I refused to read the rest of the series. My friends couldn't understand why I didn't have the same reaction they did. I pointed out that Christian Grey was actually an abusive person. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. Not even to mention its pornography between unmarried, barely- know- each -other, people. I am so hoping this movie is a big flop in the box office (but am not holding my breath). I am glad to know I'm not the only one with such strong feelings on this subject.

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  10. I haven't read it, don't plan on watching it and I agree with the good points you made (I also am not into the whole Harry Potter craze, although I did read the first book just to see what the controversy was about). As Christians, we need to speak the truth in love and be willing to stand up for what we know is right and true and good and points others to Christ.

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  11. "But to me, love should build each other up."

    Me, too. This book doesn't interest me either. Hopefully it will pass along and be over with soon. Love this: "You are called to be light. To live and love differently." Differently is what stands out to me. May we follow through with that goal today! Thanks for the encouragement, Alecia.

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  12. Yes to all of this...thank you for addressing this topic!!

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  13. Thanks for writing this. I haven't read the book nor do I plan to watch the movie, however my teenage daughter says all the girls at work (she works at a movie theater) talk about the books all the time. I makes me feel sick to my stomach. I am glad I am able to talk to her about it and she has no desire to see the movie or read the book. I am sharing your link, Alecia! Blessings! (Stopping by from Three Word Wednesday!)

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  14. There are times I think I must live in a bubble, but in this circumstance maybe it's a good bubble to be in. I have never read the book and if not for the recent chatter I would have no idea what it was even about. But grateful for those, like you, boldly stepping out to share truth and hopefully steer others away (especially younger women) from the book and movie. Much love to you, friend. xoxo

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  15. Yes! Glad I'm not alone in this. :) I'm also glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

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  16. I agree and am glad you explained your views rationally and did not get all shouty (it's a word.) hopefully the right people will read this!

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  17. You handled this post so well, Alecia. There is so much hype around the books and movie (I haven't read, don't plan to see). I think women are craving some kind of sweep-you-off-your-feet idealistic romance that isn't even the stuff of a real-life forged in the everyday relationship and certainly not the foundation that God sets for us in dating or marriage. I love a good love story and have been known to read them in fiction - and I'm all for a healthy married sex life, but this B movie just takes it to such insane levels that it demeans women - and even men who are seeking to live upright, honorable, honest lives before there girlfriends and wives. Way to go on standing up for truth. Visiting from #threewordwednesday.

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  18. Well said Alecia. You wrote truth without judgement and with love. You are a light of Christ in a world that needs in desperately!! Thank you for standing up for truth!!

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  19. I agree, it's hard to stomach something like this being called a "love" story, when it really couldn't be further from it. My fear is for the young girls in relationships that will buy the lie this movie promotes that this kind of relationship is acceptable.

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  20. lol, I've learned a new word...shouty! :)

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  21. Amen to that!! So so true. Unfortunately when you're young you don't believe this to be true.

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  22. I've done that with another popular book series that were recently turned into movies. I barely got through the first one and hated telling my friends I couldn't read the rest bc they were so excited for me to read them. And no, you are not alone on your feelings on this.

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  23. Yes, truth in love...that's what it's all about!

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  24. Different, it's a notion that goes through my mind often. And not going to this movie or reading the books is definitely that!

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  25. I had a moment of panic the other night when a song came on the radio and my daughter turned it up. She said this song is from the movie Fifty Shades of Gray. I asked her what she knew of it, and apparently not much, thank goodness! It's a fine line to walk trying not to overreact and explaining your views on this movie with a young girl.

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  26. Hmmm, I think living in a bubble sounds kinda nice :) Love to you too!

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  27. I respect your opinion and you right to voice your views on the book and movie. I have not read the book and will not see the movie. I'm not attracted to it. It is a turn off to me. I think sometimes Christians really forget we are set apart from the world and should be a light in it. Just because the world jumps on something in large numbers does not make it right, nor do we have to take part in it. #boggercaregroup

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