Come to me...and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
These are the words at the top of my journal this morning. They are the same words God has been whispering over and over to my heart the last year.
I try to rest. I do. I take naps in the afternoon when I'm feeling tired. Bubble baths on the weekends with relaxing oils and soaps.
I've even cut back on writing in this space to make sure I wasn't adding any extra pressure and stress to myself.
It's no secret Texas has been hard, and yet I'm trying to embrace what God has for me/us here. And do His will as long as we live here.
But Rest. Soul rest. Is what I'm really after and I think it's what God has been repeating to this heart of mine. It's more than bubble baths and naps. So for me, it's about sitting in the silence of the quiet morning and letting Him soak into me. I don't speak. I sit in my office chair, head back, eyes closed, and just wait. Wait for Him to speak, wait for words to come. The Bible says when we have no words the Holy spirit will speak on our behalf.
Romans 8:26 " A similar thing happens when we pray. We are weak and do not know how to pray, so the Spirit steps in and articulates prayers for us with groaning too profound for words."
He knows our hearts intricately. Every thought, feeling, tear, and laugh.
I decided to read Bonnie Gray's new book Finding Spiritual Whitespace. I knew it would be good because she is an amazing writer and has an uncanny ability to capture emotions in words.
Her book, her words are just what I've needed in this time of life. They have been the permission I needed to rest and to see why I needed it so darn much.
If you have a past you'd rather forget, this book is for you. If you've ever experienced pain and heartache and loss, this book is for you.
It's about allowing ourselves permission to shed light on the dark places that no one really knows about, but you and God. And allowing it to be brought to the light so that you can be healed and experience His freedom.
We are not meant to walk around like prisoners still shackled to our past, regrets, hurts, and pains.
In order to move forward to wholeness you have to go back to the brokenness.
We put on brave faces day in and day out. When others hurt us we brush it off and act like no big deal, whatever.
But words cut deeper than we will ever let show. Those wounds you carry around on the inside, God knows about them and sees them. Will you let Him help you?
That is really the only question left to ask. Will we dare let go of the fear that holds us captive? The questions that stalk us, "What if everyone finds out what I've done, will they still love me?" "Will they leave me?"
The road to healing won't be easy, just ask Bonnie. It sent her spiraling into a world of panic attacks, depression, and anxiety. Healing hurts at first.
Anything worth doing will be hard and painful. But the rewards? Worth it!
No longer will you walk around with the dark cloud of shame, guilt, and regret. But you will be set free to truly take hold of your new identity in Christ; one of freedom, peace, and restoration.
The devil has been out played. He never thought you'd do it. He never imagined you'd actually take the steps toward freedom. He thought he had you in his clenches for good.
But, no, not you, not you. You saw through the lie that was keeping you bound in chains, you saw through the gray cloud, and the dreams that haunt you night after night. You knew God wanted more for you, had more.
God takes us back only to heal.
Now go. Enjoy your long and FULL life.
Well done good and faithful servant, well done.
How will you find rest today? What does rest look like to you? May I suggest you read Bonnie's book? Read it slow and journal through, it will change your life!
Will you trust Him to do His work in you?
Linking with other soul sisters that are taking the white space journey with Bonnie. Finding Spiritual Whitespace