Last Wednesday I celebrated 35 years of life, thanks Mom!
Now I know some of you think I'm a young chick, but to me 40 is peeking it's ugly head around the corner. I'm thankful for each day I have to be a mom to my kids and wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter etc.And I'm trying really hard to look at age as just a number.
But each year that number keeps getting higher and higher (along with the number on the scale) :(
I told my husband I never really thought about getting old. I knew I would one day, but I didn't give it much thought. In my mind I would always be young :)
So to celebrate my young-ness I got a tattoo! (story behind the tat below)
That's right. I'm growing up to be a bad girl! ;) A bad girl with a name of God on her wrist.
I decided to do something bold and extremely out of character. I've never had the desire to get a tattoo because, a)I've heard it hurt, and even though I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, I didn't want to test it out b)what in the world would I want tattooed on my body for the rest of my life?! I'm pretty wishy washy on things like that, so I knew I would probably change my mind.
A few weeks ago I mentioned to my husband that for my birthday I wanted a tattoo. He looked at me like I had grown an extra head... or two.
He's not against them, but he knows me well enough to know that a tattoo isn't my personality. But I was convinced and knew I wouldn't change my mind. I tried to explain to him and the kids the reasoning for choosing what I did, but I think I just confused them even more. No one really thought I'd go through with it. :)
We went out to dinner and made plans to go the tattoo shop I had finally decided on after spending days searching through Yelp.
On the drive over I was really second guessing myself. "What in the world?!" I kept telling myself, "You're not really going through with this are you?!"
This tattoo shop like most I've seen looked sketchy and downright scary. My kids were there too, and I could tell they just wanted me to say, "OK, just kidding, lets go home!" But no, (call it pride) I walked in shyly behind my husband. There was really loud heavy metal music playing and the smell of cigarettes was thick in the air. The walls were covered top to bottom in different sketches of tattoos.
Heavily tattooed, tattoo artists were busy with their clients and barely looked up at the scared (young) girl and her family that just walked in. I told the guy behind the counter (which was actually the least scary looking person in the joint) what I wanted and showed him a picture on my phone of a pin I had pinned from Pinterest.
He set to work sketching me out something and I waited. And waited and waited. I was starting to wonder if he was giving me time to run. I was getting more and more nervous as the minutes dragged on.
I think for my kids sake, thankfully, they turned the music to something less dreadful. Now they were playing Bon Jovi type-rock music and we could actually make out what they were saying. Plus, my kids knew most of the lyrics thanks to Guitar Hero. My son relaxed by pretending to be actually playing the guitar along with the music...he's pretty sure he got a high score! ;)
I was doubting myself the longer I sat there. But you know what? God saw me in that tattoo parlor.
Yep, He did.
He may have been thinking I was a little wacko, but I think He was smiling. One of my favorite songs by Bon Jovi came on, "Living on a Prayer."
"Whoa living on a prayer, take my hand and we'll make it I swear, oh oh livin on prayer, livin on prayer."Oh, the irony.
When it finally came time to sit in the chair, "Sweet Home Alabama,"by Lynyrd Skynyrd started blaring through the speakers. I'm from Alabama and this song is practically the state song. It's played often at different events and functions.
I smiled. (I was trying not to pass out from the pain)
I know some people have strong opinions about tattoos. And that's OK. I honestly felt like God didn't mind. He was there with me, and the music that was playing was proof enough for me!
(Now if you ever decide you want one, may I deplore you to NOT get it on your wrist? Cause it HURTS. Like really really really bad. Imagine a thousand needles being DRUG through your skin.)
The knowing that God was with me made me feel at feel and made the next minutes bearable.
I'm so proud of myself for being brave and going through with it. My family still can't believe I actually did it...and to be honest neither can I!
And I LOVE it!!
The story behind the tat:
There has always been a name for God that has spoken to me more than the others. I'm sure you have one too?
In Genesis 16 we read about Hagar being sent away by Sarai. Sarai was mistreating Hagar for getting pregnant by Abram (which we know was Sarai's own doing). Sarai was being so horrible to Hagar, Hagar fled into the desert. (Gen 16:1-6)
God met her in the desert and told her, "Go back to your mistress and submit to her. I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count."(Gen 16:9)
He went on to tell her she was with child and that the Lord has heard of her misery. She then gave him the name El Roi, which means "You are the God who sees me."(Gen 16:13)
For many years I've felt invisible, like nothing good could come from me. I'm not sure where these feelings came from other than they were planted by the enemy a long time ago.
Last year I was reminded of this story in Genesis 16 and how much I liked this name for God because it felt so personal. I tucked the thought of getting it tattooed on my wrist away and didn't say a word to anyone.
This name speaks to my heart because it reminds me of the One that really does see me in this busy world. There are people who are more outgoing, prettier, fitter, more talented, wiser and yet He still sees me and loves me. ME.
"Every moment you know where I am" Psalms 139:3Regardless of how many times I mess up or what storm is circling overhead threatening to steal my peace, I am not forgotten. Now I can look down at my wrist and be reminded daily that I AM SEEN by the God of the universe.
So, what do you think? Would you ever get one?
Sharing with Soli deo Gloria, #TellHisStory, ThreeWordWed, Winsome Wed, and Imperfect Prose, Thought-Provoking Thurs