I do what I don't want, there is the constant battle inside between good and evil. I hide it away and try to kill it each day, but still, sometimes it comes out to play
I do not understand what I do, for what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good, because it is the sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, is my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law;My self, it always leaves me feeling angry and full of regrets for what was said or done. How do you kill something that just won't die?
You do it over and over again.
Let the quiet voice of truth get louder.
The flesh and spirit constantly battle it out.
but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. Romans 7:15-23We each have a monster inside us. And it's a continuous dying, each day. You accepted Christ, now prepare to die each day.
But don't worry this death will bring peace.
I used to feel like because I had accepted Christ but wasn't what I thought I should be at the moment I was failing Christ. No one told me that it's a process, a journey. I mistakenly thought that at the moment of acceptance I was going to be new in every way; the way I thought, acted, talked, felt and when that wasn't the case I doubted I was saved, and then I just got tired of feeling like I was constantly not living up to Christ's standards, so I stopped trying.
I wish someone would have said you are not automatically going to be a new person and think differently, talk differently, act differently, that you have to go through each day making a conscious decision to trust and follow. And all the ugliness that comes after giving your life to Christ- is the uprooting process; the cleaning house.
It's only been in the last few years that I've had the Oh I Got It Now moment.
The ones that act like they have arrived, only do so because they are afraid for others to see where they fall short. But in being vulnerable we allow others room to breath and feel like God's table has room enough for us all.
The monster must die daily, and he lives inside us all. It's a journey, I get that now. The day I finally arrive will be when I open my eyes in heaven.
"Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:25
This is a music video from one of my(and my family's) FAVORITE Christian Rock groups, Skillet singing "Monster" (my son loves the part at the end where he says "I feel like a monster" in the monster voice, cracks me up every time I hear my boy singing it ) If you are viewing this in your email click here to see video