Wednesday, November 2, 2011

How to Be Whole



My daughter, to know her is to love her. To raise her, is to pray you survive her ! :)   She was born in this world with an all-knowing, willful, spirit that is surpassed by none. I envy her boldness and take charge ways (sometimes). I am neither. But I want to mold and bend her without breaking her.  She loves freely, gives from her heart, and she loves her some Jesus!!  But she has one weakness, one that I can only identify bc I have it too; she's needy.

I'm needy in the way, that I look to people to fill the voids to try and make me feel better about myself. After I was married, I turned to food and became an emotional eater.  So you can imagine my lowest of low points are when I feel betrayed, hurt, or rejected by the people in my life.  And oh how it hurts when my pants grow smaller, bc I needed chocolate or an extra piece of pizza!

She is needy in the way, that she can't do anything alone; sleep, play, watch tv... you get the picture. Never has been. She never wanted me to leave her or put her down even as a toddler. She hung and clung to me like my little monkey.

I love her dearly, but I need my space sometimes. As she gets older it has gotten better, she will do more things by herself, but not for long.  I try to spend quality time with her, but she always wants more. I would never get anything done if I spent my days entertaining her (which is way I'm here, according to her :)).  Are most girls like this??  Maybe I just can't remember.  I worry bc as she gets older will she crave that kind of attention from boys too. Right now she loves having friends to hang out with and have sleepovers, but they can't fill her every need, just her social ones.

How can I to teach my daughter to be whole and look to God for all that she needs, when I don't always look to God for what I need?  I need to fix and work on me first, so that I can guide her with her decisions as she gets older.

Shortly thereafter I read a devotional on getting your needs met by God and God alone. Not through people, they will disappoint, not through talents, jobs, or anything else. Just God.  He won't disappoint, let us down, leave us, reject us, or ever judge or condemn us.I had heard it before, but wasn't sure how to move from believing it in my head to believing it in my heart.

 I want to stop looking to people for validation.

 I have recently started reading "A Confident Heart"by Renee Swope  and I LOVE IT!!!  Through the Bible and her book I've started filling the holes with Him. So hopefully I can teach my daughter that the only one that can truly, deeply, fully satisfy her is HIM.

How about you how do you look to God to fill your needs or in what areas do you need to start?

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